Can't sleep

"Kos…"
"Yeah Thete?" mumbled an almost-asleep Koschei from beside him.

"Can't sleep…" came the response, tired and upset… it sounded like he'd being crying. Koschei was immediately wide awake, pulling his best friend into his lap and cuddling him close.

"Oh my Theta, what's wrong?" he asked, cradling him gently in his arms, as Theta immediately knotted himself around him, clinging tight and burying his head in his chest, silent for a moment, as if unsure what to say.

"It's… well… you will always love me, won't you Kos?" he asked, barely audibly, so quietly in fact that Koschei only just caught it, his hearts stopping for a moment.

"Of course I will my Theta Sigma, how could I not love you…" he tried to smile, running a hand through Theta's hair softly, "you're everything to me, you know that… What could ever make you think…?"

Theta swallowed before answering, a few more tears starting to flow as he clung to Koschei, head still buried in his chest,

"Well I was talking to Ushas and… she says you're changing… that everyone can see it but me… and that… by the time I realise it'll be too late…" he sobbed slightly, not wanting to face the one real fear he had – losing his Koschei "that you'll be gone, different, and not able to love me any more…"

Koschei's hearts stopped for a moment… it was true that the drums in his head had been taking more control lately, that he had considered spending some time away from Theta so he didn't hurt him… but never never because he didn't love him… the opposite in fact.

"Oh my Theta, I could never ever stop loving you, no matter what happens…" he swallowed slightly before continuing, a slight ache developing in his head, which he ignored, wanting to care for his Theta not worry about himself right now "even if it seems different in the future I promise you that I will never once have stopped loving you…" he reached a hand down to gently tilt Theta's unresisting head up, to look into his eyes and kiss the tears away "I promise…"

Theta nodded mutely, snuggling close, but at least no longer crying. It was a few moments before he could reply.

"I trust you Kos… and I love you… always…" he murmured, before closing his eyes, curling up against him. Koschei smiled sadly, before gently singing one of Theta's favourite lullabyes, sending him off into a restful sleep safe in his arms, before sighing, whispering where his Theta won't hear him, knowing the day may come where for Theta's safety they'll be separated, because they are getting worse.

"Even when I'm not with you Theta, my hearts are yours, and they will always beat for you and only you… whatever happens, I'm yours…" he sighed again, before settling into a sleep filled with his wonderful Theta Sigma…